


Love Intensified By Absence

by neuv



Category: Zootopia (2016)
Genre: Angst with a Happy Ending, F/M, Interspecies Awkwardness, M/M, Mates for life, Multi, Non-cannon compliant, One-Sided Relationship, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-20
Updated: 2017-03-20
Packaged: 2018-10-08 07:16:27
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,886
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10381419
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/neuv/pseuds/neuv
Summary: Judy isn't interested in Nick the way he is for her, but of course that doesn't bother him.Or4 times Nick finds himself pining, and the 1 time he realizes he might be over it.





	

**Author's Note:**

> While I have most of chapter two written for Rabbit Habits, I can't seem to get out into words what I have in mind for it. In the meantime, here's another unrelated fic to quell my slump. Enjoy some angst!!
> 
> Edit: I was hesitant to include this, but I've added a non-compliant tag for the sheer fact that, while the universe is technically 'the same,' I've basically bastardized a couple key character traits. This is just meant to be a warning of sorts! Feel free to comment on that or any other aspect of this fic, as always.

_**One.**_ Of Course.

 

Nick and Judy had fallen into a routine as partners on the force in Precinct One. One facet of their routine was to go to Andy’s Diner after a late shift so they could enjoy some nice food, great gossip, and even better company.

Andy’s was a family-friendly 24-hour joint that catered mostly to civil service workers, nocturnal mammals and more responsible drinkers at this time of night.

As Judy cuts into her waffle with strawberries, she asks in a hushed tone, “So did you hear about Chief Bogo and Clawhauser?”

“Yes, Carrots. Who didn't?” Nick asks.

“I can't believe it,” she replies in disdain.

“Why? They've been pining after each other like school girls for months now. It's about damn time they bit the bullet and started dating,” he responds.

“I know. I'll just never understand mammals who date outside species lines. I get that in Zootopia anyone can be anything, but it's just not how we do it where I come from,” she admits.

“Oh. What about them being men? Is that too unnatural too?” Nick asks.

“No! Not at all. I have plenty of gay siblings!”

“I see,” Nick says before he digs into his bug omelette with toast. He feels like he's lost his ravenous appetite, but eats it all for appearances. Nick’s body feels like it's on fire with shame and he wants, more than anything, to run away and hide in his den, but he's good at keeping up a front. He chalks his silence up to being tired, and life moves on.

 

 ** _Two._** Of Course I'm Not Pining. Who Said I'm Pining?

 

Nick distances himself from Judy in the weeks that follow. Nick is good at coming up with excuses for their sudden lapse in time together, but needs to get over her somehow.

When he invites himself over to Nick’s place, Finnick is not surprised when he finds Nick lying around on his sofa at 4 in the afternoon, surrounded by fast food trash, junk food wrappers, tissues and other garbage. Nick has apparently fallen asleep watching some sappy rom com for God knows how many times.

Finnick doesn't hesitate when he jumps up on Nick’s chest and slaps him in the face a few times.

Nick wakes up abruptly, cursing at Finnick. “What the hell man! I didn't do anything to deserve that,” Nick says.

“Like hell you didn't. Snap the fuck out of it! I'm ordering you to clean up, hit the showers and go out to a club with me tonight. It's been almost a month dude. She didn't even date you!” Finnick says.

Nick sighs. He knows Finnick is right but he thought for _certain_ that Judy was the _one._ In fact, he knows she is still. It could be worse, he supposes. At least they're best friends. And Nick found out about her disapproval for interspecies relationships before he ruined their friendship.

The red fox nods with determination and says, “Yeah. You're right. Let's get this place cleaned up.”

“First of all, I'm always right, and second of all, _you're_ cleaning this place up while I sit here and supervise.”

 

 _ **Three.**_ Of Course That's _Awesome_

 

The next couple years at Precinct One don't change much at all for Judy and Nick. They spend time at work together as partners, and plenty of time outside of work as friends. They frequent each other’s places for movie nights, game nights, and nights of drinking. Nick even humors Judy every now and then for make-over nights when she's feeling particularly female. They spend time together at restaurants, at cafes, at shops, the movies and even the gym.

As such close friends with good chemistry, mammals begin to talk. The pair even catch wind of a betting pool between the officers at the station about when they're going to get together. Judy and Nick laugh it off and continue their routine like always.

Until Judy meets Christopher, that is.

As much as Nick wants to say Chris is this boring guy who is nothing like him, Nick would have to be wrong. While it would be so much easier for Nick if Chris was some terrible bunny who was an accountant or something, Chris is a trainer at the gym and even a rock wall instructor of all things. Chris enjoys action movies, comes from a big family himself, loves going on runs with Judy, respects Judy’s aspirations, hopes and dreams, and, worst of all, is a really nice guy.

Nick doesn't realize how bad he has it for Judy until she's gone.

Sure, they're still good friends. They're still partners on the force. They still hang out, even. It's not as often, and definitely not at each other's places, but Judy still makes time for him.

But when the engagement happens, the betting pool is resolved with no winners. And the only real loser is Nick.

 

 _ **Four.**_ Of Course I'll Do That For You

 

Nick soldiers on. He's all dry humor and witty comebacks like always. No one but Finnick even realizes something is wrong with him. Not even his own mother knows. Nick is business as usual.

When Judy asks Nick to be in her wedding party as her Man Of Honor, he's touched. He's flattered she thinks highly enough of him that she'd be willing to break some serious bunny traditions to have him do that. He's also happy, now, that Chris is a good guy, and is also completely on board with the plan.

So why does being happy suck so bad?

For the next few months, Nick helps Judy out with dress fittings, invitations, vow writing and emotional support of all sorts.

When the big day arrives in Bunnyburrow, and Nick walks down the aisle alone, in a tux, and with a bouquet, he doesn't complain even for a second.

He makes a wonderful toast that night, schmoozes up to the family, shoots the shit with Gideon, and even dances at the reception.

But during the ceremony, Nick cries just a _little_ when his best friend walks down the aisle. Even though he's so happy for her, he can't help but still feel a bit sad.

He knows he's done some rough things in this lifetime, and he must have in his last one as well. He just hopes that in his next one, karma allows him to be the mammal at the altar as Judy walks down the aisle, and not the best friend on the sidelines. But for now? The sidelines will do.

 

 ** _One._** I'm Actually Over It.

 

Judy and Chris have a wonderful honeymoon, and get started right away on a small family. Only three litters. Nick is their godfather.

As the years pass and Nick climbs into his forties, Nick becomes a detective. Judy is content working as an officer still for the sake of her family, so their partnership ceases.

Nick is still a prominent part of Judy’s life, though, and even babysits her kits sometimes. Nick finds himself very good with children, and contemplates maybe becoming a father one day if he ever finds someone.

But it's not like he's really trying. Nick had tried his hand at the dating game with very little success. Vixens and tods of all sorts came and went as if there were some sort of revolving door in his love life. He didn't click with any of them. He knew that. They knew that. In an earlier time in his life, he pursued mammals besides foxes as well, but he couldn't bring himself to do that and be silently judged by Judy. Normally he didn't care what the hell anyone thought of him, but when it came to Judy, her opinion _mattered_. Her opinion is what made him a better mammal in the first place. It was why he was an officer and how he had made something of himself.

With time, his dating pool shrank. Most foxes his age had already found the fox they wanted to settle down with. Judy, the saint, continued to encourage his efforts and even set him up a few times. Eventually, Nick gives up. He's a firm believer in love without force, and is content enough in his life without romantic love. He's got good friends, a good job, and a nice place.

One day a few years later, Nick is watching the twins of the fourth litter while Judy and Chris take the older ones back to school shopping. With how easy rabbits get pregnant, “accidents” are almost expected.

Nick takes the four year olds to the park. It's a nice day, and these two were particularly well mannered for their age. Unlike some of their older siblings at their age, very rarely did Nick need to interfere with playtime.

As Nick watched them play, another tod sat down next to him on the bench Nick was on.

The red fox strikes up conversation as he, presumably, watches his children. “So, is Mom busy or are you a single dad?” he asks.

“Neither. I'm a pedophile,” Nick jokes.

The tod laughs earnestly. “What about you?” Nick asks.

“Single dad. My little Stevie is over there on the swings,” he says as he points to a little fox kit.

“Those bunnies on the other end are a couple of my god kids. They're David and Danni. Mom and Dad are out shopping for school with the others,” Nick says.

“Oh wow. They're lucky to have such a cool godfather. Do you have kits?” he asks.

“Nah. That ship has sailed. I'm pushing my late forties. Little too old to start,” Nick says.

“I dunno! I wouldn't say that. You're handsome and funny and you'd be a great dad. I can tell.”

“You can tell all that from a three minute meeting, huh?” Nick asks.

“Sure. You just gotta know what to look for. My name’s Zachery, by the way,” he says.

“Zachery huh? My name is Nick. It's a pleasure to meet you,” Nick says as he holds out his paw in greeting. They shake paws, continue to chat on the bench, and take the little ones out for ice cream.

 

\----

 

Nick eventually learns that Zachery’s wife had passed away in childbirth, and Zachery was raising Stevie completely on his own. Zachery worked as a construction manager and was in his mid thirties, but despite that, he and Nick had a lot in common and became fast friends. Without much time at all, Stevie even warmed up to Nick, which touched him.

Nick and Zachery do a lot of their hanging out later at night in Zach’s apartment. This way Stevie is still being watched, but since it ends up being bedtime soon enough, Zachery and Nick get some time to themselves. They play lots of video games, card games and watch a plethora of shitty movies together.

One winter night, during a viewing of Basic Instinct, Zachery turns to Nick and notices a prominent bulge in his pants. “Why Nicholas,” he says, “Does the thought of a cop named Nick getting some action with a bisexual mammal turn you on?”

“Eh. Maybe a little. To be fair, Nick Jr. finds a lot of things arousing these days. Sometimes just a freshly pressed suit or free coffee will do it for me,” Nick admits with a shrug.

Zachery laughs in response and dares to touch Nick on his upper thigh. “I could help you with that, you know,” he offers.

“Thanks, but don’t sweat it. It'll go away soon enough. Besides, what if Stevie walked in?” Nick asked.

Zachery slapped Nick on the arm. “I've got a bedroom door with a lock for a reason, idiot. And that wasn't a no either. I'm not a charity, Nick. I want to help. You don't have to will it away. Besides, seeing you with a hard-on gave me a semi and I _am_ taking care of mine, with or without you,” he says.

“Wait a second, _I_ gave _you_ an erection?” Nick asks.

“Well, part of one, but yes. You did. You're hot, Nick. You’re all muscle, you've got rugged scars and most of all you're a really sweet guy beneath all that. It wouldn't be the first time I've thought about you getting off and it won't be the last,” Zachery admits openly.

Nick blushes profusely. He coughs a little before speaking, “I've… thought of you too.”

“Thought of me when?” Zachery presses as he leans up against Nick.

“When getting off,” Nick admits as his blush deepens.

“Great! Problem solved. You think I'm hot, I think you're hot, let's go have sex,” Zachery says.

“Zachery! We can't just… we can't just do _that_ ,” Nick says in protest.

“Why not?” he asks.

“Because we can't! I've never even seen you naked before. And we’re not mates,” Nick says.

“We don't have to be mates to have sex. We don't even need to do penetration or knotting or whatever your qualifications are for _the one_ ,” Zachery says.

“How can you be so flippant about this?” Nick asks.

“I'm not. My mate died, Nick, but my happiness doesn't have to. We have needs. Emotional and sexual ones. I know you don't talk about it, but just because your mate is gone doesn't mean you need to suffer like this. We could take care of each other, Nick,” he says.

“I've never had a mate,” Nick says as he turns away in shame.

“Are you a virgin?” Zachery asks in surprise.

“Yeah. I've been on more dates than I can count, and I've made out with mammals before, but that's as far as I've ever gotten. No one’s ever clicked with me before. You know the way that they say you _know_?” Nick asks.

“You know that you won't _know_ right away normally, right? With me and Jess, it took a few months before we realized,” Zachery offers

“Yeah. I know that,” Nick says. “I gave them all a real chance but it always tapers out.”

“Do you think maybe you made a mistake with one of them? Called it off too soon?” Zachery asks.

“Nah. I'm sure of that,” Nick says.

“I don't know how you could be sure, Nick. You're such a good guy, but I know you can struggle with self esteem,” Zachery says carefully. “Anyone would be lucky to have you. Are you sure you didn't accidentally push someone away because you thought you weren't good enough?” he asks.

“Not really. That's one of the reasons why I think I'm so sure about it. Mammals would try really hard to make it work with me most of the time,” he says.

“I don't think you're telling the whole truth, Nick.”

“Well… I never accidentally pushed away anyone. But there was someone I pushed away, I guess. I think there's maybe a chance they might be it,” Nick says carefully.

“You're so full of bullshit. You either _know_ or you _don't_. Which is it?” Zachery asks.

Nick sighs. “You sure do keep me honest. It's Judy. I've known for years. Before she met Chris. Back when we were young. Lord knows I've tried to move on from it, and I have I think, but no one wants to date someone they can't have a future with.”

“What makes you say that? Why can't people have a future with you? There's plenty of species that don't mate for life,” Zachery says.

Nick hesitates before speaking. “Judy doesn't really support interspecies couples. Like she's not really against them, but she also doesn't understand it fully either. I know her approval shouldn't matter, but…”

“She's your mate,” Zachery finishes.

“No she's not! It's not like that,” Nick says.

“It's exactly like that. You know, for as much shit as our species gets, we do really have a better understanding of relationships, reincarnation, and religion than many others. Judy is your mate. Of course her approval matters to you,” Zachery says.

“Yeah. It's just so fucking pathetic to admit, ya know? Like I spent years pining over her and even now I still can't get over her. I've literally surpassed 40-year-old virgin status and I'll be celibate, alone and childless when I die,” Nick says with his head in his paws.

Zachery gently touches Nick’s back and says, “It doesn't have to be like that, you know.”

Nick sits up and looks at Zachery in disbelief. “You literally _just_ said that Judy is my mate and her approval matters. What the hell do you expect me to do? Hire some vixen hooker just to lose my virginity or something? And I can't adopt a child on my own. I'm a fox in a high risk job. No agency would ever approve me.”

“Well, Nick, I'm right here. I'm a fox who also can't be with his mate, I find you attractive and I even would let you father my child if you and I moved in together and Stevie wanted that,” Zachery says.

“You're right here,” Nick says.

“Yep. Sure am.”

“You’ve been here. For like almost two years now,” Nick says.

“Sure have.”

“And you're my friend and you're sexy and I gave you a hard on.”

“Sure did.”

“I'm an idiot.”

“Sure are.”

“Can I kiss you?” Nick asks.

“Yes. You sure can.”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!! Haven't done a ___ times and one time fic in a hot minute and felt the desire to write one.
> 
> And thanks for the feedback on Hey, Bartender. I'm seriously considering writing some more for it now. We'll see!


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